I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We're too hungover to prance.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
