I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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