He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
50% drunk capacity currently
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
