That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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