Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
