I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize