Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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