I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
