I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
