he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
