hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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