Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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