Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
