Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
