one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
