Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
