Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
