i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
