Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
