If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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