Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize