Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
