what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
