how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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