I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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