Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
