Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
