That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
