Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
