On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
