I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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