Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
