I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
