Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
