you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
