Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
