Pregnant stripper...not hot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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