I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
