I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Boobs speak an international language.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
