and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
