I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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