why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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