So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
