I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
