So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
