Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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