RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
