Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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