is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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