question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
