Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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