dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
