you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
