So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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