tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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