Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
