are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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