there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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