Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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