i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize