O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The adults are the big ones right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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