I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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