true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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