He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
